Samuel received an amazing book for his birthday this past March called The Children’s Planet Earth Encyclopedia by Jen Green. It has colorful and interesting pictures and extensive, but kid friendly, information about this fantastic sphere we’re all spinning on. Reading about how volatile our planet is with phenomena such as earthquakes, volcanoes and weather patterns coupled with the weeks of rain and flooding we’ve endured have raised a lot of questions from two curious minds. Samuel and Ethan have really taken to this book for stories and I love it because I delight in learning new things as well, being reminded of other topics, and linking ideas together.
However, there was a time when we would read to the boys and they would take it at face value. Now they ask a million questions, challenge our thought processes, and give us lots of chuckles. After one night of reading about Mt. Saint Helens and famous earthquakes around the world our conversation went something like this:
Samuel: Mommy, when the earth shakes does the ground open up?
Me: Well sometimes. Are you thinking of the picture in the book with the big hole in it?
Samuel: Yes. And on the Land Before Time, Littlefoot’s mommy gets hurt in the earthquake after the BIG fight with the T-Rex. Do earthquakes make big holes like that? (Here he looks at the window with a bit of fear in his eyes). Is there going to be an earthquake here and the ground will open up?
Ethan: Is it going to be a BIG hole?
Me: No, there isn’t going to be an earthquake here. (Note to reader – I had to look up South Dakota Earthquake History from the USGS to make sure I wasn't lying.) We don’t seem to have earthquake problems here. We have tornado problems and volcano problems.
Samuel: Tornado problems? Are we going to be sucked into a tornado? That would be really cool!
Ethan: A big tornado! Yeah, that be weally (really, Ethan speak) cool! Are we going to see hot, hot lafa (lava, Ethan speak)?
Me: No we are not going to have an earthquake, and it would be very bad to be sucked into a tornado. The only volcano we’re really worried about is Yellowstone, and if it blows, we’ll only see ash, lots of it.
Samuel: Where are earthquakes going to happen where the earthquakes open the ground up?
Me: California.
Samuel: Where Mickey Mouse Lives?
Oh no. I see where this conversation is going! Now I have to put myself in a four-year-old’s mind and consider the absolute catastrophe it would be if Mickey Mouse fell into the ocean. This conversation turns into a discussion about how Mickey Mouse is not really REAL, but rather a character which means he’s pretend, or fictional. Boy did that open up a can of worms.
Samuel: Mommy, is Tyrannosaurus Rex real?
Me: He was real, but now he’s dead. All dinosaurs are dead and fossilized.
Samuel: So he’s not real anymore?
Me: Well his bones are real, but he doesn’t live anymore.
Ethan: Is Manny real?
Me: Manny is a character in a movie. So he’s not real. But wooly mammoths were real and they are all dead too.
Ethan: But el-ah-pants (elephants, Ethan speak) are not dead.
Me: No elephants are real, and they are not dead.
Samuel: Is Spiderman real?
Me: No, Spiderman is not real.
Samuel: But he’s a man. A man is real.
Me: Yes, he is man, but he’s a made up man or a character.
The real versus fictional questions arise at least once a day now.
Additionally, not only have the questions started about this fascinating world around them, so have the complicated analyses. Previously, when I would “negotiate” with Samuel it was really one of us saying something along the lines of, “Eat your dinner or no treats later.” No other choices. Now “negotiation” is starting to mean that Samuel thinks through problems and comes up with solutions. Ethan’s a little behind him, and mostly parrots Samuel, but he’s not far behind.
Here is this morning’s conversation between Samuel and me. Before this conversation took place, Peter had been up and down with the babies until 2 am and I had essentially been up since 2:45 am. The ladies still have infections and we are visiting the doctor again on Tuesday. Around 4:15 am I finally had both babies down and it appeared they might stay for a bit. I snuggle into the couch. 4:30 am Samuel is leaning over me and says, “Mommy, I have a bloody nose.” Drip, drip, drip.
Me: Ughh. Okay, I’m getting up. Hold your head back, don’t drip anymore. Go to the bathroom.
Samuel: Okay. The babies are noisy tonight.
Me: Yes, they are. (Ya think?)
We fix the bloody nose.
Me: Go back to bed, it’s too early to be up. Take this tissue in case it starts again.
Samuel: Okay. Good night, mommy. I love you, mommy.
Me: Good night, Samuel. I love you too.
Samuel climbs up his bunk, I return to the couch and snuggle under again. I feel the fog closing in and then I hear an electronic “rrraaarrrr…” I think – hmmm, Samuel must have rolled over on Spinosaurus. “Rrrrrarrrr…” Okay…twice?? I climb off the couch again. “Rrrararrr…”
Me: Samuel, it is 4:30 in the morning. You have to put Spinosaurus away.
Samuel: But why?
Me: Because it is early, you should be sleeping, and you’ll wake everyone else up (thinking, please, please don’t wake up babies). You can’t play with it. Give it to me.
Samuel: Okay.
Me: Now go back to sleep. It’s too early to be awake.
Samuel: But the birds are awake…
And sure enough…cheep, cheep, cheep, tweet, tweet. They were.
Peter and I were able to go on a date this past Friday, thank you Jen and Bryce! We’ve had lots of offers to babysit our four children since our daughters entered the world, but then I feel this sense of guilt at leaving four children four and under with anyone and I can’t seem to make myself do it. It’s not that I don’t love and trust these brave souls, but I realize the all-encompassing work it requires to tend to the needs of these four children, particularly the twins. It’s especially difficult now that Nina and Jocelyn are going through a separation anxiety stage. I can’t even leave the room to refill my cup of Joe without one of them completely flipping out at the realization that I have disappeared from sight. I also know how draining the kids can be, because I get to look in the mirror every morning and think – oh my. When did those swollen eyes show up? I really do need a haircut. Is that another wrinkle around my eye?!
It’s truly chaos most of the time if you aren’t used to it. It’s my life, so it seems natural to me, but everyone else looks at me doing the grand juggle and I see the sheer panic in their eyes. Recently I had a play date with a fellow friend while Samuel was at school, which means I was at 75% motherhood responsibility for about 2.5 hours. This pal has two children that are nicely spaced out so one is in school full time and the other plays somewhat regularly with Ethan. She looked at me and said, “It is rather hard to focus and a hold conversation at your house.” Why I wonder? Ha! Every parent knows that adult conversations, if children are present, are littered with interruptions. The interruptions increase exponentially as the number of children increase. “Excuse me mom! Excuse me mom! EXCUSE ME MOM! My T-Rex just ate Buzz!” Such a terror requires the appropriate response. “OH MY GOD! Get Buzz out of T-Rex’s mouth!!”
Peter and I went on this date and we looked at each other and thought – wow. Do you hear that? Silence. We’ve had nights where someone took the boys and we went out together, but the girls stayed with us. Last summer, when I was pregnant with the girls we would leave the boys with my parents to make our regular trips to Sioux Falls. The reality of those nights alone boiled down to how could I look at anyone and feel wild and sexy and carefree when I was 23 + weeks pregnant with twins and just sat in a car for 6 hours across one of the least scenic places in the universe? For those of you who haven’t traveled I-90 across South Dakota, highlights include 1880 town, lots of road kill Chinese ring-necked pheasants, corn field after soy bean field after corn field, and crossing the Missouri River where being from land-locked states we must all say, “Dang – that’s a lot of water!"
Whew - back to our date night. In preparation for this date night, the girls were woken from their naps early and I had to do serious battle to get shoe and jacket commitment from Samuel and Ethan. I wondered the whole time I was getting ready if I could still pull off heals and thought, “Ugg. This is so painful for my feet, my heart and my ears, is it worth it?” The result of the short nap was that Nina and Jocelyn screamed the whole way to Jen and Bryce’s house and continued their ear pollution as I walked out their door mumbling, “Like a Band-Aid, like a Band-Aid” per Jen’s suggestion. Then 20 minutes later, I looked at Peter across the table and several miraculous things happened. The first is that I realized I do have two hands to eat with. At this point, I’m so excited I want to hold my glass of wine in one hand, my fork with the other, start to guzzle and stuff away. Next, I realize as I put savory bite after savory bite into my mouth that my food is warm. Fish and steak do taste much better at this temperature! I also notice that no one is screaming, “MOMMY!” and neither of us are negotiating a major treaty to convince our boys to eat…something.
All the parenting books, blogs, websites and so on say that one of the number one things to do as a parent is to take care of yourself and your marriage….you know…a happy mom is a good mom. But these sweet little books and websites usually seem to assume you are either on your first baby or that Mother Nature or God never involved themselves in your reproductive life and your children are spaced exactly at 2.5 years. These magical age separations often mean that your oldest is potentially close to important life skills like cutting their own food, grasping the concept of a napkin versus a shirt sleeve, buttoning their own pants, and agreeing that jelly beans are not one of the major food groups. These life skills add up to important things like easier babysitting, less worry for moms and dads, and communication skills for all parties involved.
All in all it was a fabulous dinner. We lingered over our beverages, savored our food, laughed at the foibles of our children, and missed them terribly. Then we played a few slots, won nothing, and returned home guilt free. What I learned though is that I’ll take all of you up on those offers and our munchkins will be coming to your house next. I figure if I can do it every day for 10 hours while Peter is out of the house, my brilliant friends could handle anything for 3 hours, even if the four of them scream the whole time!
Good stuff came out of Mother’s Day weekend. Peter scored big points when he came home from Rapid City lugging a big ol' outdoor carpet for my back deck that I’ve been dreaming of for years. We essentially live in the yard after Memorial Day and I just wanted that extra touch to our outdoor space. Happy Mother’s Day to me! Sounds lame I know – Hey so and so, what did you get for Mother’s day? Answer - Why I got this lovely pearl pendant! Sabrina, what did you get for Mother’s Day? Answer – I got a RUG! Woo-hoo! And it is perfect and exactly what I wanted.
Our girls, also essentially sick since January with this indescribable nasty sinus thing and two ear infections, were diagnosed with chronic sinus infections. This super surprise rounded out with a 21-day dose of antibiotics. The directions on this new antibiotic indicate that one should not take any iron containing products 2 hours prior or 2 hours after ingestion of this drug. RRIGGHHT.
The patients here are two 8-month old babies on iron supplemented formula and you don’t want me to feed them milk for 4 hours at two different times of the day for TWENTY-ONE DAYS!? Upon calling the pharmacist and doctor, it was decided that this really is the best medicine for them since the amoxicillin did nothing for them and the augmentin just ate their guts and made them soil their diapers every 20 minutes for 10 days. 30 tubes of butt paste later, we’re all healed up from that debacle and headed down antibiotic lane again. Anyway…back to the non-iron junk. The caution, per the pharmacist, is that it does cause some absorbency issues and I’m just supposed to watch for effectiveness. Meaning if Peter and I ever get a decent night of sleep in the next century again, then the meds are working. The secondary caution is that such products mixed with this drug make their bowel movements red. I mean RED folks. Or maybe it tilts toward hot pink? This is all great and wonderful, because who really cares if their poo is pink or red or magenta or candy apple. They don’t have diaper rash any longer and they’re going to get better, right? I can deal with any red, blue or green hue you throw at me.
After the girls bath the other night, I laid them on their bedroom floor and was dressing Nina first. Meanwhile, Jocelyn crawled her naked derriere over to the Leap Frog table and started pounding keys. Those legs started wiggling, the woops and he-haws started flying out of her mouth. It looked like she was really doing a groove and she was giggling, jiving, shaking that booty and having such a great time in the nude, I thought, “I’ve got to catch this on film!”
I take off at lightning speed, return to the room, camera in hand, and pat myself on my back that I caught her still in Elvis Presley action. As I start recording her I realize that between her feet, on our light beige carpet, is a petite, Jocelyn-sized pile of magenta. As this is all sinking in to my sleep deprived brain and I’m saying, “No! No! Jocelyn!” she continues to groove and starts stepping in it and splashing it up and down her legs, through her toes and up the Leap Frog table. Down goes the camcorder. Forgetting to turn the camera off, I now have a great memory on tape of Jocelyn dancing in her hot pink poo and then 34-minutes of carpet with background noise including the re-bathing process, the diapering and changing, and then Samuel crying, “Mommy, I touched something I shouldn’t have!” as he shows me his hands covered in black paint. And since it’s an old school camera, and I’m too lazy to figure it all out, the memories and 34 minute carpet scene shall remain, including discussion of what exactly Samuel got into.
All in all however, we are 10 days into the meds and they are not working. The girls cough and hack and run snot, so they are not sleeping through the night. Therefore, neither are we. I talked to the doctor again today and they’ve decided to pull them off of the antibiotics to save their little intestines and we’ll revisit on Monday. So it goes, so it goes.
May you all have scored on Mother’s Day too – whatever your pleasure may be. The night Peter brought home my rug, we had a nice fire in the chiminea, roasted some marshmallows with the boys and drank a bottle of wine. A toast - here’s to you my boogie girls, perhaps you just have a dysfunctional nose like your father? In the meantime we’ll continue to spread our slimy noses around and hope for the best.
