Getting Sleep During the First Few Months
We've learned after four children that there is nothing more important than a little rest at night. This means getting at least one full sleep cycle, which takes about 3-4 hours. When we had our twins, for the first few months, instead of both of us getting up all of the time for feedings, we did "shift" work. This worked for us because Peter tends to be a night owl and I'm a morning person. When the girls would go down I would go to bed as well and sleep for about 4 hours. Then, if Peter was up, he'd wake me up and we'd do a switch. If he was asleep, he'd continue to sleep until the girls were awake and then come get me. Whoever was on duty got up when the girls got up (about every 1.5 - 2 hours) and whoever was off duty slept through to get their solid cycle. The key was that the person who was on duty slept in the guest bedroom or on the couch and the person who was off duty went into the cave, aka our bedroom, and closed the door.
Did we feel completely rested? Ha! Right! But at least we could function.
Getting Sleep in Later Months
Eventually, the little gals were only getting up once a night so Peter and I started sleeping together through the night again. Once we were in this groove, once one baby woke up, Peter and I got up to wake up the other baby and feed them together. Then it only took about 20 minutes to feed and burp, then put back to bed.
Making Bottles
While I breastfed my first two children, I was unable to breastfeed Nina and Jocelyn. So, when we made bottles, we made huge batches of them and refrigerated them. Usually enough to last 24 hours. In the initial months, we would make up to 16-20 bottles at a time. We always kept our Avent bottle warmer on and stocked with water, so the refrigerated bottles were ready to go in the warmer. With twins, it's not a bad idea to have 2 warmers going at once.
Traveling with Bottles
After much painful research and trial and error experiences, we found that traveling with pre-made milk and trying to warm it just wasn't a reality because it takes way too long for most travel warmers to do the trick. Especially with two babies. So instead we bought a 16 ounce thermos and carry warm water, empty bottles, and pre-measured formula in our diaper bag everywhere we go. We are able to make ready-to-eat, warm bottles just about anywhere and the thermos keeps the water at the right temperature for about 8-10 hours.
Feeding Time - Bottles
Having multiples, we found there is a lot of merchandise out there to simplify feedings and everything else from sleeping to feeding to playing. The reality is, stuff costs lots of money and it is used for such a short period of time, why bother? Instead of buying specialized feeding chairs, we treated our twins like our other babies and pillows work just fine. Obviously, having two people to feed the babies is ideal, but it isn't reality. After two weeks at home, Peter went back to work and I was alone with four mouths to feed all day every day, mostly alone. For the babies, I sit in an over-sized chair with a pillow on my lap and both babies on the pillow. Then I give them both bottles at the same time. Below is a picture of my mother-in-law, Elaine, giving the girls a bottle at the same time.
Acid Reflux
Nina and Jocelyn were both diagnosed with Acid Reflux, which is a very uncomfortable situation for babies. It burns and they often have a hard time holding down their milk. We also struggled with this issue with our son Ethan. Most of the time, it is prescribed to put babies on Xantac or other similar medications to help alleviate some of the discomfort. Being non-medicating people as much as possible, Peter and I didn't feel comfortable medicating the babies, so we looked into alternative solutions. A retired pediatric doctor that is friends with my parents gave us some really helpful hints with Ethan and we applied this to him as well as the twins. They are pretty basic - just like an adult with acid reflux. Feed them smaller meals more often so their stomachs aren't as full. Keep them upright for at least 30 minutes after eating (we used Bjorns, swings, playseats, etc. for this so we didn't have to hold them all the time). For the girls we even bought Tucker Wedge sleepers which positions the girls (SAFELY) at a forty-five degree angle throughout the night. See: http://www.tuckersling.com/ for additional information. Below is a picture of Nina in her Tucker Sling.
Using these methods, all three of our babies that had acid reflux were able to outgrow the symptoms around 6-7 months without medicine. These methods resulted with less discomfort and less projectile vomiting! I'm certainly not a doctor and am not prescribing this for you because every case is different. It is something that worked for us.
Introducing Solids
Tools needed: 2 highchairs, lots of bibs, spoons, baby food, miles and miles of patience, and a sense of humor. Oh...and a wash cloth helps. It isn't any different than singletons, really. We put both girls in their highchairs, strap on the bib, and alternate bites between the two of them. We started with one feeding a day, then introduced a second and now they are eating three meals a day with their regular bottles. Occassionally we throw in the snacks too such as cheerios, mum-mums, etc. And of course, just like single babies, try and try again.
Equipment
We definitely didn't buy two of everything. Here are the things we absolutely had to have two of: infant carriers/car seats, cribs, high chairs, and Bjorns. The only other thing that make our lives a little easier that we have two of is the Bumbo sitters, with trays, but these are borrowed. We thought we would need two Bobby pillows, but haven't used them. Everything else is optional mostly because there is a very rare chance that both babies will be doing the same thing at the same time. We only have one swing, one jumparoo, one jungle gym, etc. I usually find that while Nina might be willing to go in the jumparoo, Jocelyn is perfectly content on the floor or needs to be held.
Hygiene
I shower at night, because most days I wouldn't squeeze it in otherwise. Plus then I get to end each day as an adult again...free of snot, spit-up and any other body fluids that I may have come into contact with during my daily battles. It works, I don't feel like a slimeball and I can get dressed first thing in the morning. A necessity for getting Samuel to preschool!
Alternating Schedules During the Daytime
Being new to twins, we read lots of blogs and resources that suggested you get your twins on the exact same feeding, playtime and sleep schedule as soon as possible. While this seems like a wonderful idea so you'll have a break during nap times, we have found that it is easier (particularly with two older kids) if the girls aren't 100% on the same schedule during the daytime. This results in us having more one on one time with each baby, not having to juggle the babies simultaneously, and being able to accomplish more tasks and playtimes with our older boys. It becomes sort of like haveing one baby that never sleeps during the day. It might be exhausting for you, but it is more rewarding for all of our children because I am not so stressed out with four tiny ones. I'm down to three at a time.
Free Your Hands (At least one) and Wear your Babies
We have two Baby Bjorns that we use by crossing the straps so that we carry both babies at once. See picture below that my son Samuel took of me while I was doing this!
Of course you can purchase fancy carriers that do this for you, but we were comfortable with the Bjorn from our other kids, and we already owned one. A very kind friend gave us the other one, so it was a smart financial choice to utilize them. The other way we wear our babies in order to have our hands free is by strapping on only one baby, and carry the other baby in a free arm. This accomplishes having only one free hand, but gives additional mobility. See the picture below.
This works because we were very used to doing tasks one-handed after packing around our other two children!
Going Shopping
As parents of multiples, you'll quickly discover that shopping cart manufacturers didn't have your packing two infant carriers around in mind. We have found that putting one infant carrier on the child rack and then setting one across the main rack works. The down side to this, is that you aren't going to fit a household's load of groceries or supplies in the cart. Some solutions we've found for this include:
1) Pull a second cart behind you. One of the hardest things to do alone, but it works.
2) Shop together if you have a partner. Each of you take a baby, each of you push a cart.
3) Shop alone and put both babies on the cart, and make smaller, more frequent shopping trips. This is useful for us because we have the boys too, and their patience level is short. I often go to the store 2-3 times per week (especially for milk!).
4) After hubby is home and the babies and boys are asleep, I go to the store late at night. Or I go early in the morning on Saturday before all the other shoppers are there.
If I have to take the kids, my favorite is the third option, because I make it educational for the older boys (teach them colors, letters, numbers and ask for help) and the babies get to see lots of color. It is an outing, I make it relatively short, and do it a couple times a week. Of course my very favorite option is number four and I get to go alone...but the down side of this is that it is usually at the end of an already very long day.
For non-food items, the internet is the most wonderful invention.
Entertaining Other Children
Babies in any form are very demanding because they require so much special attention. Get two or more babies at once and life gets really complicated, especially if you have other children. Then add in the fact that children are pretty much concerned with whether or not the next 5 minutes will be fun for them. They don't generally care about the cleanliness of the house or how tidy their clothes are. Idle hands make for trouble! One more contributing factor to craziness
Plan ahead!! It can be very frustrating when all four children need something and we find ourselves at 100% failure! So we try to head a lot of these situations off by planning activities for the boys the night before or setting them up before we deal with tasks such as feedings for the babies. For example, we'll plan crafts or art projects that the boys can accomplish themselves while we attend to household chores and baby requirements. We get them started, and they run with it. Is it foolproof? No. But it does seem to eliminte a lot of sibling rivalry between the boys and impatience resulting in idle hands that get into trouble. It also helps creativity while instilling some independence. When we have free hands, then we do complicated activities that require full attention.
Does this mean you have to have activities planned to entertain your children all day? No way! Independent, creative play is the best for kids. But often you've gotta be ready to deal with crises by getting those little hands involved in something! This accomplishes a few things besides eliminating idleness and heading off disasters. It reminds them that while you have new babies, they are still very important and you'll have time for them too.
Chores for Older Children
We try not to ever expect our children to help with the babies, unless they want to hold a bottle, or play with them. We try to remember that they are tiny children too and should not have to do adult responsibilities. However, we do expect them to do their chores and help clean up their messes and toys. We do expect them to throw their trash away, help wipe up spills and bathtub splashes. We've also bought them little snow shovels and little rakes and they think it is all great fun to play in the leaves and help us shovel the driveway. They help set the table and sort the silverware out of the dishwasher - simple chores that contribute to the family and household.
1 comment:
I hope your blog gets published into a book one day! I would buy it!
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