Being parents to multiples, you suddenly graduate to this special club. We haven't determined if the special club is unique or freak as things that used to be routine have become exotic. Take buying a gallon of milk. Considering that Samuel and Ethan drink about a gallon every day or two, our milk purchases (2-4 gallons at a time) are frequent.
So I go to the store to purchase said milk, and what should take fifteen minutes turns into a forty-five minute process because of the twins. Notice how stores always have the milk at the very BACK of the store? As I walk past the first few aisles I am stopped by every grandmother, aunt and uncle who inevitably asks, "Are they twins?" Peter and I haven't decided if we should answer with something sarcastic like, "No, they are actually a year apart but one is a midget," or "They aren't twins, but they were born on the same day." Being the nice folks that we are, we always say, "Yes they are identical girls."
This part of the discussion is then they followed by something along the lines of "My second cousin's daughter had twins and they are six now." Of course, being the smiling type I am, my mouth says,"Oh really!" and my brain says, "Oh god, here we go again" as I listen to the accomplishments of their darling twins. When the glamour of the twins wears off briefly we then get, "Wow - two sets of twins!" as they notice our other impatient boys standing by. Being obsessive, I must set the record straight and provide that while Samuel and Ethan look much alike, they are actually a year apart. In many cases we must then have the discussion of "Do twins run in your family?" I then weigh the desire for my gallon(s) of milk against whether or not I really want to describe the genetic predisposition between identical and fraternal twins to every person in the store. And lastly, these conversations are nearly always followed by "My goodness you have your hands full." My husband is Italian, and if he has to hear it again, someone is going to become one with the concrete.
After much repitition we finally reach the back of the store, grab our milk and do it all over again on the way to the checkout. Ahhh...we do love our milk.
1 comment:
My two oldest brothers are 4 weeks apart, and when people asked my mom if they were twins (being in the same grade), she would say, "Yes, one got stuck."
I crack up at your humor because I think that everybody has the same monotonous questions/comments everywhere they go.
For me - it's, "Your name is Buffy? Like - The Vampire Slayer?"
I used to say (unhappily), “Yes…Like the Vampire Slayer.” Now I say straight up, “No.” And I purposefully leave the awkward silence afterwards, because frankly, it’s been 19 years since that stupid movie came out, can we PA-LEEZE let it go? I think after two decades you’re allowed to put these unnecessary jokes away and back on the “Don’t EVER EVER EVER EVER go there again” shelf.
My other favorite: "Is that your real name?"
“No, my real name is Bithurasdinhournimlousgon Kleslinfarjilpourginjdesher. I just chose ‘Buffy’ because I figured that nobody would give me crap about it”
I promise next time I see a busy mom in public that I will just keep walking...I now feel for her, as I read your story.
(By the way, that is a real name, I Googled the world’s longest name…ha!)
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